from Monticello High School Mustang to Brigham Young University Cougar
"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." ~John Wesley~


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Coming to Another Close

So the semester is coming to a close and it's almost time to say goodbye to Fall 2011 for good....
All that's left is finals!
The only real tradition I have with this blog is that I like to blog about the semester in general as it's drawing to a close.... so here we go (the pictures are not in the order I wanted them but whatever I'll deal with it)

FELLA FREE FRIDAY:
This semester for whatever reason I made up Fella Free Friday. It only happened once but it was a bundle of fun! I went out to eat with 3 wonderful friends of mine (Holly, Annalisse, and Rachel)! We went to Macaroni Grill dressed up for us, NOT BOYS! We laughed and gossiped and probably cried some too. Then we went back to Holly's and watched a sappy girly movie! What a wonderful night!

Intramural Volleyball
GO BIG OR GO HOME!



This semester I did the one thing I said I would always always always be too afraid to do, join and intramural team. But then Courtney started a volleyball team and I'm a sucker for volleyball so I said absolutely. We played in the highest division and we only won a single game but we had so much fun and we really weren't that bad.


Studying and Classes

If the picture didn't give it away.... me and studying had a love hate mostly hate relationship this semester! I actually didn't mind most of my classes and my Human Development, New Testament, and Marriage and Family Classes were absolutely amazing. But this semester was just exhausting.... I'm ready to be done with Meteorology and into the El Ed program


Having Aiai in Town:


The best part about being part of a really big family is that there are cousins! I was so excited when Alyson got accepted to BYU and even more excited when it was time to move her into the dorms in Heritage! It was so fun to go on a few double dates with her and she's just a cutie! I love her a lot and I sure do love having her in the same town even if we don't get together that often! Just having her in town is enough to put a smile on my face!

Roommates:

It's been a crazy semester! That's for sure! It's always crazy in Apartment 114 and I wouldn't have it any other way.




Looking back at Fall 2011... honestly I'm glad it's over! I'm excited to turn the page to something new and to just keep pushing through day after day!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Way I See Things

Sometimes I sit around in my apartment and wonder if I'm the one who is insane or if I'm the only one who has any sanity left. Blame it on my mother or blame it on being a Southerner but I guess I just see things differently....

Here's how I see things....

~You're beautiful! I don't know what's with girls and thinking that if they aren't a size 0 and have a body like a model then they're not pretty. I live with and around some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and none of them are models or have bodies like models because they're NOT supposed to. I sit around thinking I'm the crazy one because, let's be real, I'm the short girl who has "Dudley Thighs" or as some of my friends from back home like to say I just have some "lady curves", and I'm one of the few who doesn't have issues with my body. The way I see it, it doesn't matter what your body looks like because you're beautiful just the way you are- short and stout, tall and thin, athletic built, acne scars, perfect hair, or any combination.

~You should just be yourself! This one actually kind of bugs me. People out here very frequently act one way in front of their roommates or the girls and another way in front of boys or large groups. This screams WRONG!!!! to me. I'm pretty good at always being me, that's one thing I've got figured out. Don't put on an act. You're perfect the way you are--- even if you snort when you laugh; are more intelligent than the boy you're talking to; burp like a man; or have whatever little weird thing about you--- we're all a little strange don't hide yourself because of who you're with. Be you regardless of who you're with.

~Live a little! This is the one thing that I know but sometimes struggle to actually do. We're only in college once, we're only young once.... why are we wasting it? Be with who you want to be with, love what you're doing, do something crazy, be flexible. Go on any adventure! I'm at BYU for an education, but at the same time I'll only be here once so I'm gonna make it count. The rest of you can sit in your bedrooms and complain about not having a date or having people to hang-out with, I may not do anything all that exciting but I'm not going to complain I'm going to do something that makes me happy... even if a boy isn't attached to the deal. I just want to be happy while I'm here!

The way I see LIFE- you only get to live each day once, there aren't any re-do's.... so make it count. Don't spend your whole life putting on an act or picking out every flaw in your body or personality. Be you and love your life...... Live the life you love, love the life you live!
But.... that's just the way I see things!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Balancing

What's a college girl to do...
There's papers to be written, meals to be cooked, groceries to be bought, friends to chat with, dates to go on, tests to study for, ward activities to attend, sporting events to go to, sleep to be slept, work shifts to be worked, parents to be called, cleaning to be done, laundry to be folded, and a whole host of other items on a busy to do list.....
When it gets a bit to hectic for my liking I just remember that a gagillion other people have been in my shoes and they survived college, so it's time to balance and prioritize.
I just needed a little pep talk as I contemplated the day before me complete with laundry, paper writing, and reading lots and lots of READING

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

In Defense of Young Single Adult Men

We have all heard the many talks that have been given by the general authorities in the past few general conferences that have in many ways called on the young single adult men in the church to "get moving" when it comes to the whole marraige thing. Do I disagree with the general authorities? HECK NO. Date boys date!
So why do I feel like I need to defend the young single adult men in the church?
Because many young single adult women in the church feel it is their right and responsibility to check the progress of the single adult men around them. Trust me there are many times when I would love to go up to some young man and shake him and say, "Hey you should be dating more cause you're awesome" but here's what stops me....
1) I am not the judge: Who am I to judge the intentions of others? What sickens me most about Latter-day Saints and Christians in general is we profess that we are not judgemental, but we are hypocrites. We are not to judge the intentions of others. Who is the ultimate judge? The Savior.... one day we will all have to account for the things we did and didn't do in this life, but while I'm here my job is not to judge. It's especially dumb to judge the dating habits of someone... you never know their story.
2) I don't have stewardship over them: Making blanket statements that judge the entire LDS single adult male population is really dumb. I am not any of these boys mothers who am I to tell them that they should be dating x number of times a month? If they come to me for advice then sure I will gladly say what I think about their specific situation but I am not going to go and give unwanted and in many cases unnecessary advice to everyone around.
What's my point in all of this...
SISTERS CALM DOWN instead of hounding on the men how about you take a look at yourself and see the areas in which you may be lacking and continue to work out your personal salvation while you wait for your eternal companion.... nothing sounds more desperate then "You're a sinner because you won't date me"
Assume the best in everyone. Assume that the men are prayerfully going about their pursuits of an eternal companion and are doing the best they can.
MEN DATE set your own personal goals that falls in line with the counsel that has been given and remember it's ultimately up to you what you do with that counsel.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

After a Long Hard Night.... Gratitude

***Warning: This post is mostly spiritual in nature***
So I try and pride myself on being able to hide those things which hurt me most, but already this semester I realized I am not around the kind of people who are going to let me crawl into my safety zone and hide. This summer was really hard in many ways and I was content to come back to BYU- be anti-social and never EVER let anyone know that I was broken.
Unfortunately even before the semester started, people had seen through my bluff. I've always been the kind of person who prays with real intent to have good roommates, good neighbors, and the right strangers to come into my life when I need them most or when they need me most. It's been interesting this semester to see already at the very beginning that my Heavenly Father has heard my plea and has put some pretty amazing people in my life.
First there was my family... Cori, Alyson, Mallory thanks for your opinions even when all I wanted to do was say hey this is my decision I got this I'm fine. Thanks for making me open up and start discussing it instead of keeping everything bottled up.
I cannot thank my Heavenly Father enough for my roommates! Through the sassy attitude the tears and the mess of it all, they still love me. It took me awhile to see that, but I know without a doubt in my mind that they would drop anything if I needed them. Although I was hesitant to live with 6 girls that I knew really well it's turning out to be exactly what I needed. And Aurora- thank you especially for being there when I finally cried it out for the first time. You truly were my angel from heaven in that moment. Thanks for reassuring me, crying with me, and hugging me like crazy.
I don't even know how to begin thinking my Heavenly Father for good neighbors. I'm not the trusting type it takes me a really REALLY long time to trust people, but not Jordan. I've known him for 3 days and he already knows the in's and out's of my life... it's a bit scary but I trust him. I cannot not even begin to explain how much I needed not only the blessing he gave me but the venting session last night. As much as I tried to hide it I was broken and needed to be told I was broken and that it was ok for me to focus on me for a little while. I am so thankful for a friendship that came quickly and unexpectedly even when I was initially trying to send him away by being super sassy. I am so thankful for things he said because they were truly the answer to my prayers. It's really nice to have someone I can turn to and someone who is willing to comfort me and help me bear my burdens. Thanks Jordan for putting things into perspective and helping me truly grasp the entirety of the atonement.
Am I miraculously better? No. Am I still bitter? Yes. Are there still days when I wanna stay in my bed and cry? Yes. But I'm doing better. I've finally decided it's ok to discuss those things which hurt me most. I've finally decided it's ok for me to broken. And most importantly I've come to understand that Heavenly Father loves me even when I'm broken and he does here the pleas of my heart and sends people to be my angels. I know that little by little things will work themselves out and for that and all the other lessons I learned last night during my long hard night.... I am grateful!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Life's Not the Breaths You Take

I feel like that life can be described by a George Strait song... "Life's not the breaths you take, the breathing in and out that gets you through the day. Ain't what it's all about. You just might miss the point, tryin to win the race. Life's not the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away."
I look at people around me and even myself and how we rush. When we're little we want to be like the "big kids" and ride a bike without training wheels, or we're in middle school and we want to rush through the acne and hormones until we get to grace the halls of high school, once we reach high school it's a 4 years sprint to adulthood always rounding our age up so we're one step closer to a license or being 18 and college. Once you reach college or once your out of high school it's a rush to a career or a marraige and eventually to kids, and then we rush our kids through the same process.
I stumbled upon a friends blog where she wrote back to her 14 year old self, and I kinda wanna steal her idea so here goes nothin....

Dear 14 year old me,
You've survived middle school! Congratulations, it was a rough road with plenty of dissappointments, more than your fair share of drama, and even some successes along the road! Don't worry about all the drama sorrounding your friends in 4 years when you leave for college, very few of them will be more than acquaintances. Don't be afraid of change. High school will be an amazing expereince. You'll find out who your real friends are as time goes by, and you'll learn about yourself through the process. Listen to your heart, it's almost always right. It's not gonna be easy, you're gonna hate being different. But you can do it! Don't let a chance pass you by to serve people, even when you're scared. Who cares what everyone else things, it's just high school. One year after you leave that place it won't feel like home anymore. You'll realize home is not a finite place, home is where you are and where your heart is. One year after high school you'll still be as unsure as you were at 14 about who you are. Don't worry! Becoming the woman you want to be is a day to day process. Just try a little harder, to be a little better each day. Remember that every path you set out on starts with one step. Don't hesitate. Sometimes you have to walk into the darkness with faith. Remember before God can direct your path you have to be moving your feet. Never underestimate yourself. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, and remember there are always people that you can count on; even if they aren't the ones you were expecting or the ones you wanted. Remember to slow down every once and a while to look around and look back. You're doing better than you think and you've come a long way. Don't let that get to your head though, you've still got a long way to go. Remember instead of rushing from one phase of life to the next make sure you are present and living every moment that should be taking your breath away. You'll always remember the way you felt when you got your first kiss (it'll suck), and then your second one 2 years later (that one will be much better). You'll remember the extreme sense of accomplishment when you make All-State, direct the musical, and march across the stage to grab your diploma (even if you were hoping Billy Haun could give you yours). You'll be scared a lot too, but thats good. You'll feel nervous anticipation when you go to your first stake dance; first youth conference; first date; drive for the first time; pack your bag for college; meet your roommates; go to your first classes; go on your first college date (btw you'll rush into a relationship that night... you're a little impatient). Try to take it all in and live in the moment, because life's not the breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Oh The Places You Will Go!

I love this story by Dr. Seuss it's a little long but please read it, and then you'll understand how it is truly my life in a piece of childrens literature.

"Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head!
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You're on your own and you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets.
Look 'em over with care.
Aboust some you will say,
"I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet.
You're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you'll want to go down.
In that case of course, you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen
Don't worry.
Don't stew
Just go right along
You'll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

you won't lag behind, because you'll ahve speed
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because sometimes you won't.

I'm sorry to say so,
but sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
In a prickle-ly perch
And your gang will fly on
you'll be left in a lurch.

You'll come down from the lurch
with an unpleasant bump
and the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a slump

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windowns are lighted, but mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right..
or right-and-three-quarters? or maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

....for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go,
or a bus to come, or a plane to go,
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a yes or no
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting

Waiting for the fish to bit
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a better break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls or anoter chance.
Everone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all the waiting and staying
you'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping
Once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And te magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-es winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Exccept when they don't
because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Wether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
on you will go
though your enemies prowl
on you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many a frighetning creek,
though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are

You'll get mixed up of course
as you alread know
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step
step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum, or Bixby, or Bray
or Mordecai iAli Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So.... get on your way!

I was introduced to this story toward the end of my senior year of high school, and it truly found a place in my heart... I never really knew how true it would be of my life. One of these I wanna sit down and write out the poem of my life to this point in this style... but it'll have to wait...

So today I went back to my high school to do more than visit the choir room and it really was an eye-opener into my life and how yep good old Dr. Seuss was always right.

I'll just point out some similarities and some of my thoughts in this really long blog post....
"And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go".... wow isn't that so true in college. I decided where to go not only to get my education but once I was there my parents weren't around to constantly be helping me make decisionss.
"In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town."... the other day a girl I haven't seen since the 8th grade stopped by the restaurant I'm working out this summer. She immediately recognized me but it took me a few moments to put it together. We were small talking and she asked me if I ever made my big dream of leaving come true and I could proudly tell her I had, she was really cute about it but she said almost sadly, 'At least someone who said they would leave this place after high school actually did.'
"Just go right along. You'll start happening too." .... This one may be the most cheesy but honestly, as things at college started happening and I just kinda followed the flow I also found me and who I want to be.
"Sadly it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you."... how very true. Life isn't a piece of cake, and I always used to think oh that'll never be me or oh that'll never be someone I love, but things don't always happen the way you plan them and you get a little banged up
"Unslumping yourself is not easily done."... maybe that's not true for everyone but it is for me. I realized that while I was away that when I get in a "slump" it takes a lot for me to finally be a big girl and pick up the pieces and move on
"Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind"... so I'm indecissive so yeah this totally makes sense to me. Amen Dr. Seuss.
"The Waiting Place".... been there done that and just like the story says "That's not for you"... it is not the place I want to be.
"Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot".... unfortunately it's a sad truth. I was only homesick when I felt alone. And it has nothing to do with the number of people around you. You can feel alone in an entirely packed room. But it's something I've finally learned that there are somethings I need to do and somethings I need to face alone and it's ok.
"And face up to your problems whatever they are"... this one might sound a little strange but ever since I took Professor Bott's class it's become fun for me to identify a flaw or a weakness or a problem in my life and confront them face on defeat them and then move on to a different flaw. It's just part of becoming the best person I can be.
"And remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.".... no comment just AMEN! (College: Pick 2- social life, sleep, grades)
"Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way!"... that's what I feel like right now. My life is all ahead of me it's time to attack it full force and get to the top and become the best me.

The other thing is today I got to go by my two favorite teacher's classrooms.... Mr. Hickey and Ms. Haney. I can't even explain to you how much I learned from them, and what an influence they've been in my life. And today was no different I left with words of love, encouragement, and advice. My favorite was the words Ms. Haney has always spoken to our class it's a quote by John Wesley he said, "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can." The other analogy that I loved that Ms. Haney used today is that life is like a bowl... you never know what you'll have in it at any given time but you have to deal with that ever changing bowl and make the most of it. It was interesting her perspective on living in the present rather than focusing on the past or looking too far into the future. Mr. Hickey is just as amazing. He kept telling me and Ian, live it and love it now. There will never be a time like this again, we will never get our high school years back. He also put things in perspective because he just had his first baby... life has a meaning it has a direction but that doesn't mean I need to throw myself into things too quickly and regret not being a young adult and loving every moment that I have right now.

It was interesting to go back and visit the school, but it's obvious it's not where I belong. The memories and the people that those memories were associated with are not gone. MHS is no longer home and doesn't feel that way.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Fun Experience with the County Police

So today I had a not so great day so my good friend Jace and I were just talking about it at the Food Lion beside my house. Innocent right? I guess more details are needed.... it was like 2:15am. I'm still on Utah time and he's a nice guy who claims to never sleep. So yeah we were loitering, but I never knew it took 3 cop cars to come and check our ID's and give us a warning and tell us to wrap it up and go home. I'm not trying to be a jerk they were doing their job that's all fine and good I just think it was a little weird that it takes 3 cop cars. I get the safety and strength in numbers thing but I felt like I had done something terrible and going away in cuffs for sure when I was just talking. It also was one of those Dorothy when she gets to Oz moments, "We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto." turned into "You're not in Provo anymore, Chelsea." I guess that was just another indication that things are different in Charlottesville than in Provo and it makes perfect sense. But it will still be a moment I won't forget, sitting in Jace's car with 3 squad cars behind us, scared to move, while they check our ID's. (Oh and just to make things more interesting I didn't have my ID on me so I had to give them my name and date of birth).

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Sometimes You Just Have to Say It

I don't think I say it nearly enough! The 3 words and the 2 words that respectively may mean the most in the English language.... Have you figured out what they are yet? Think about it.... K enough of me trying to be cool in case you didn't figure them out the 3 words are "I Love You" and the 2 words are "Thank You"... The semester is wrapping up and I have taken the time to write some letters, but I honestly think it would be foolish and dumb of me not to publicly thank some of the individuals who have been so important in my freshman experience. I'm sorry for those that I don't include... it is the middle of the night and I'm trying to be brief (plus let's be real few if any of you read this anyways) Spencer- so Spence has been gone on his mission since January, he was my FHE dad last semester. I can't even begin to describe how much I adored Spencer. I'm pretty sure everyone knew he was my favorite (although I totally don't pick favorites). I don't know there was something about him that sorta reminded me of my best friend back home, Casey Waite. And I don't know if it was that or just Heavenly Father knowing I needed someone like him but there were a lot of times where I needed to hear exactly what Spencer had to say to me. He gave the best advice and I honestly could not have made it through my first semester without him. Taylor- Taylor cares. I think that is what I love most about Taylor. Although he may have a tough exterior sometimes he genuinely cares about people. I would trust Taylor with my life with everything. He is such an amazing individual and I adore him. He is so sweet and I don't know I feel like he just gets me I rarely have to tell Taylor what I'm thinking, what I need or anything he just kinda knows. Austin- he's the brains. He is so logical and so wonderful in that way. I love having conversations with him, his insight is amazing. He's kinda what sparked this blog post. He was seriously in my kitchen tonight with Dana for almost 4 hours. As he was talking about preparing for his mission I was in utter awe of him. He is going to be amazing, and I am so bummed that I won't be around for both his and Taylor's farewell. I realized tonight that I don't tell him Thank You enough for putting up with me and for just being the all around stellar guy he is. McKinley- first of all if you don't love McKinley you are crazy. This guy is solid. He is absolutely amazing. I am always amazed at not only how caring and sweet he is but the breadth of his knowledge. I love his "on my mission stories" and I have learned so many things from him. I couldn't see my freshman year without him. Dano and McKay- Ok these two characters joined the FHE group Winter Semester. They had some pretty big shoes to fill when Spencer and Josh left. Honestly they are nothing like Spencer and Josh and for that I am way grateful. They are both so unique and honestly Dano keeps me on my toes and McKay keeps me laughing. They are both such a great addition to our disfunctional family Josh- well although I'm a little sad I haven't gotten nearly as many letters from Josh I still think he's great. I really miss him. He was over all the time towards the end of last semester. He was such a good friend and so patient. He was a listener and is wonderful in every way. Kevin- ok so maybe Kevin takes Spencer's place as the favorite. It's debatable all 10 of my FHE brothers have been amazing. Kevin is amazing! He is so sweet and thoughtful. He is also a lot of fun! He's one of those guys where you just can't not like him. Yep he's just that wonderful you are forced to like him Gabe and Bessie- they are honestly the two FHE brothers I got to know the least which is really unfortunate. They both seem to be amazing gentleman and they are both way cool, but I just never got one-on-one time with them like I did with the others. It was way unfortunate and I feel like I really missed out. The reason why I spent an entire blog entry on my FHE brothers is because they are such stellar individuals. I adore them and I can't say it enough THANK YOU! I really can't explain how much I needed them each individually. They have done more than they will ever know to help me and I can't picture my BYU experience without them. So let me say the 3 and 2 words respectively that I never say enough. I LOVE YOU guys and you really do feel like my big brothers and THANK YOU for everything you do.

Monday, March 28, 2011

7 months down... 1 to go

I really can't believe that I've been at BYU for over 7 months. Even now when I'm walking on campus and look at the mountains and all the people around me I feel like I don't belong like I'm too young. Where did high school go?!?! Then there are other days where it feels like home. Most of the time though I just feel lucky. Lucky to have gotten an opportunity to come to BYU, lucky to have 4 amazing roommates I get along with, lucky to have support from back home, lucky to have been placed in such an amazing freshman ward with a great bishop and great ward members, lucky to have such wonderful friends, lucky to never have to worry about drunk roommates or unwanted boys in my bedroom, just lucky to be me. Yesterday we had our last fast and testimony meeting... it was a mad dash to the front. As many times as I wanted to get up and wanted to get up to say something I kept myself in my seat. It was a good thing though because instead of being worried about what I was going to say I got to just listen. I know I'm going to entirely butcher it, but Keenan was talking about hiking and he made the greatest analogy he said, "You can't stay at the summit forever, but when you come down from the summit you should be different because of what you saw there." I thought that was the coolest thing I've ever heard and totally applies to my life right now. I have had the most amazing experience being at BYU the past 7 months and I have learned more than I ever imagined, but now I'm preparing to go home. I should be going home a different person because I have spent 7 months on my own personal summit, and because of the things that I have seen and experienced here I should be going home changed because of my time spent at the summit. When I look back at the girl who came to BYU in August I am surprised to see how much change has happened to change that girl into who I am today. The girl who moved into the dorms August 25th was scared, was unsure of who she was who she wanted to be or what she wanted to do. She was scared out of her mind to be thousands of miles away from home, family, friends, and the familiar. She was a little bit shy and even more awkward. That girl has pretty much disappeared. I am no longer afraid of the unknown, I've learned a really cool theory: for God to direct your path you have to be moving you feet, so sometimes that means you have to take a step or two into the dark unknown. I have come to know a lot about myself. I know who I am, who I want to become, and what I want to do. I'm less shy and less awkward. Am I perfect? Nope not at all. But I know where I'm heading. Life has meaning and direction, more so than it did in high school. I know that a great deal of the changes that I've gone through could only have happened at BYU. There were specific people that I needed on this journey to teach me specific lessons that I couldn't learn from anyone else. I really wish there was a way to thank every single person who had helped me during my time at BYU, but unfortunately I don't know them all by name. There have been so many times that my roommates, my friends, my ward members have said the specific thing I needed to hear, but there have also been random strangers on campus who have helped me more than they know. I feel so blessed to have spent the past 7 months here and as wonderful as it is to be going home I'm gonna miss this campus and this enviornment for the next 4 months of summer vacation. Most of all I'm gonna miss my freshman ward and I am so excited to be living with so many of the girls in Glenwood next fall and I am so incredibly proud of the boys for leaving on missions, they are stellar individuals and will make the world's most amazing missionaries.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Blog Neglect

Well I got entirely overwhelmed and distracted the past 3 months and have basically ignored my blog.... oops. So I guess I'll just give you a quick update and try to do better for the rest of the semester although I make no promises.

UPDATE:
Roomies: I still absolutely adore those 4 girls. We get along so well and we have a ton of fun whenever we're together. Each day they're feeling more and more like my sisters and less and less like my friends. I really have no clue what in the world I'm going to do without them this summer. Roadtrip to San Antonio, Chicago, Sparks, or San Francisco? maybe we'll see!

Boys: they exist? kidding kidding. To quote myself, "I will fight over boys because they are beautiful and wonderful and I like them, but I will not fight over dishes." Honestly there aren't any boys I'm fighting over right now though. I'm content to have lots of guy friends, but pre-mission boys are no offense but a waste of time. A serious relationship with a month left in the semester with boys who are leaving to foreign lands just doesn't really make sense. I'm totally up for dates though! The Gariet thing... well we broke up like we planned at the end of last semester, we're working on a friendship and I'm happily coexisting in the same ward as him to steal my sister's word. That makes it sound so bad... :P It really isn't. He's a good guy and is still super nice. His new girlfriend Rachel is pretty awesome too.

Thursday Night Dinners: This semester I started a new tradition of having Felt 32 and other random guests over for dinner on Thursday night. I really really enjoy making dinner for a lot of people, so this is PERFECT. I'm trying out some new recipies on them and perfecting some old ones. It's actually really cool I've learned that I can live on $40 a week and still feed like an extra 8 people on one day. So FUN!

School:
I'd love to say all my classes are easy and great.... but that would be a lie! I am doing a lot better than I was doing last semester. There are still some grades that I need to bump up, but hey I'm hoovering around the B mark in all of my classes which is super great! We'll see if I can pull back up my GPA! :) I am actually really loving a few of my classes. My sister didn't lie when she said Brother Bott is the best Mission Prep teacher ever, and I find my Geography class very interesting.... which rarely happens. As I was looking at what I have left I realized that I have the best classes left before I enter my major. I get to take Human Development and Children's Literature next semester. Which is SOOOO great! I really am loving the school part of college, which I know is weird to hear!

Visitors:
I had three very very special visitors this semester. The first was at the very beginning of the semester... MY DADDY! He came out to take care of Tyler after his surgery for a few weeks! I loved having him here. It was so great getting to see them all the time. I love my brother but mostly I just love my Daddy. Speaking of Ty, he went back to the mission field in February and is doing super great! We got to go out to dinner with my cute aunt and uncle and Ty right before he went back. It was great seeing him but yep time for him to go back on a mission. My other two visitors were my cute cousin Brittany and my cute Grandma Dudley! They came out for a wedding that Brittany was in. Mallory and I went up to Draper on Saturday to see them and spend the night. It was so fun getting to just chat with my Draper cousins and then go to Music and the Spoken Word and bum around Salt Lake on Sunday. On Monday I even took them all to the Brigham Young University Museum of Art Carl Bloch Exhibit. My Grandma absolutely loved it and I've heard that's all she's talked about since. I'm also looking forward to seeing my cousin Ai-ai (Alyson Holloway) when she comes to visit.... which by the way she's officially a COUGAR! yay for a really great party next fall with her around!!!!

Missionaries:
HOLY MISSION CALLS! Seriously, there are like 4 a week, and it's CRAZY! I will probably do another blog post just about mission calls/missionaries/and pictures!

Things are pretty great here in Provo.... I'll try better to blog about events that my poor blog has missed out on this semester, and to keep this whole blog thing going.... but NO promises