Monday, March 28, 2011
7 months down... 1 to go
I really can't believe that I've been at BYU for over 7 months. Even now when I'm walking on campus and look at the mountains and all the people around me I feel like I don't belong like I'm too young. Where did high school go?!?! Then there are other days where it feels like home. Most of the time though I just feel lucky. Lucky to have gotten an opportunity to come to BYU, lucky to have 4 amazing roommates I get along with, lucky to have support from back home, lucky to have been placed in such an amazing freshman ward with a great bishop and great ward members, lucky to have such wonderful friends, lucky to never have to worry about drunk roommates or unwanted boys in my bedroom, just lucky to be me. Yesterday we had our last fast and testimony meeting... it was a mad dash to the front. As many times as I wanted to get up and wanted to get up to say something I kept myself in my seat. It was a good thing though because instead of being worried about what I was going to say I got to just listen. I know I'm going to entirely butcher it, but Keenan was talking about hiking and he made the greatest analogy he said, "You can't stay at the summit forever, but when you come down from the summit you should be different because of what you saw there." I thought that was the coolest thing I've ever heard and totally applies to my life right now. I have had the most amazing experience being at BYU the past 7 months and I have learned more than I ever imagined, but now I'm preparing to go home. I should be going home a different person because I have spent 7 months on my own personal summit, and because of the things that I have seen and experienced here I should be going home changed because of my time spent at the summit. When I look back at the girl who came to BYU in August I am surprised to see how much change has happened to change that girl into who I am today. The girl who moved into the dorms August 25th was scared, was unsure of who she was who she wanted to be or what she wanted to do. She was scared out of her mind to be thousands of miles away from home, family, friends, and the familiar. She was a little bit shy and even more awkward. That girl has pretty much disappeared. I am no longer afraid of the unknown, I've learned a really cool theory: for God to direct your path you have to be moving you feet, so sometimes that means you have to take a step or two into the dark unknown. I have come to know a lot about myself. I know who I am, who I want to become, and what I want to do. I'm less shy and less awkward. Am I perfect? Nope not at all. But I know where I'm heading. Life has meaning and direction, more so than it did in high school. I know that a great deal of the changes that I've gone through could only have happened at BYU. There were specific people that I needed on this journey to teach me specific lessons that I couldn't learn from anyone else. I really wish there was a way to thank every single person who had helped me during my time at BYU, but unfortunately I don't know them all by name. There have been so many times that my roommates, my friends, my ward members have said the specific thing I needed to hear, but there have also been random strangers on campus who have helped me more than they know. I feel so blessed to have spent the past 7 months here and as wonderful as it is to be going home I'm gonna miss this campus and this enviornment for the next 4 months of summer vacation. Most of all I'm gonna miss my freshman ward and I am so excited to be living with so many of the girls in Glenwood next fall and I am so incredibly proud of the boys for leaving on missions, they are stellar individuals and will make the world's most amazing missionaries.